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Dear Eugene,
>> > Hi,
>> > I stumbled upon your site when I was looking for some help in my meditation. I have been long desirous of doing meditation but have never been able to implemnt it for various reasons(lack of
discipline, lack of time, etc.).
I am very eager to do so as I am right now going thru a bad patch in life and wish to gain some peace of mind.
Please guide me
Thanks & regards
>> > Sowmya
Hi Sowmya,
I`m glad you contacted me, there are often many variables as to why someone cannot become resolved in learning and maintaining Meditation. Sometimes it is the actual Meditation, perhaps it is an inferior
method or it may be due to lack of guidance. Often questions arise once you have begun and they
need to be answered. I know Self Empowering Meditation is a quality Meditation of the Transcendent type and I will guide you throughout. Before I share with you the Mantra, which is an extremely important aspect within Meditation, I want you to read through the following page. It is an actual ongoing correspondence with a person who has learned my method of Meditation. {see new offer below on this page} Once you have read this page email me
and I will forward you the Mantra, as well if you should have any questions I will clear them up first.
> http://www.theetrinitycreation.com/SpiritualEnergyCommunication_SpiritualGrowth.htm#Page
EuGene
Dear Eugene
> Thank you so much for your prompt response. I have visited your site & read thru the page link you
sent me. To be frank, my first reaction is that I am a bit bewildered. I am unable to appreciate your
philosophy in full as I guess, I have not understood all that there is regarding the sacred geometry etc.
Please dont misunderstand me but will it hamper learning meditation from you if I don't follow your
philosophy(I am not rejecting it, have just not understood it)? much as I would like to learn esp after reading how much Natasha has benefitted from it. I was especially impacted when she says she is
discovereing "her potential as a human being". That is something Im currently wrestling with - I cant see a
purpose to my life, no goal to work towards.If something could take me towards that clarity,I would
be so grateful.
Pls let me know
>
> Thanks & regards
> Sowmya
Dear Sowmya,
I am so glad that you are candid with me for you bring up a most excellent point, " but will it hamper
learning meditation. " Whenever a Meditation is a quality type of Meditation and of Truth you need not ever adapt to any particular philosophy in Life. The Meditation should stand on its own and impart the fullness of its benefits independent of any particular religion or belief: this is Self Empowering Meditation. The Mantra itself is very simple and not affiliated to any belief whatsoever, in fact it simply helps to reinforce the Self. I chose this Mantra after much contemplation and study. I will now share it with you, everything else you need to know should be covered in my Meditation pages. If however you have questions whatsoever, particularly after you have tried your first Meditation please feel free to email me. Also if you wish let me know how things are going. My Mantra is ----
My purpose in Being beyond the Sacred Geometry, or perhaps I should say contained within it, is to help the Person realize his or her full potential as a Person: to evolve into oneself. In order to discover a true goal in life and to have purpose in Being you must first discover your Being, know yourself and live yourself. Everything else then becomes clarified. Perhaps now you may ask how do you come to know yourself and develop into the fullness of your Being? I believe if you stay in contact with me that through our ongoing Communication you will begin to see yourself in a fullness not seen before. It is a gradual process and with each person I work within, and appreciate, their belief system. The Growth of the Person is most important to me, no need for them to adapt to my, or any other particular system of Personal / Spiritual belief. If you like tell me a little bit about yourself, this would give me a clearer picture of who I am in Communication with.
Look to hear from you soon,
Sincerely,
EuGene
Dear Eugene,
I would love to tell you about myself- i only hope you will not be bored by the time you are thru with this mail! The basics: I am 25yrs old(female) of Indian nationality, living with my parents in -------(you
must have surely heard of the city). By religion, I am a Hindu.
I am not sure abt the existence of God, but have full faith in the concepts of destiny, karma, past lives. I feel nothing else explains the things which happen to one. I used to seriously wonder abt how much the concept of destiny is valid, is it all in man's hands? I have since come to the conclusion that destiny decides much of your life, but the karma(the acts) you do will decide your next life (Hindu philosopy holds that you will receive the fruits of your acts, bad or good- in this birth or later on(inclded this as Im not sure abt hte extent of your familiarity with it))
---- what do you think? Am I being too fatalistic?
Anyway,
I come a reasonably well off family, but not rich,fairly religious. I am very close to my family, my mom is my closest friend.
My immediate crisis is that I am on the look out for a job as I quit my earlier one coz I was very unhappy there. I have been unemployed for the past 3mnths & no job seems to be coming thru inspite of going to the last stages, each time.I have started wondering seriously abt my employability! the going is tough as i keep wondering whether i did the right thing quitting, did i lose a opportunity somewhere..nothing new but all this has been making me depressed.
And bringing to fore the fact that I have never had a goal I needed to focus on & achieve, all my life. Im not sure Im in the right career, dont feel successful.I seem to just be drifting. I havent achieved anything Im proud of. Is there a reason to my existence?
I have analysed myself to death, and I have concluded that my lack of self-esteem could be the problem. But I have tried working on it, but external events seem to reinforce my mediocrity......
There is enough literature in my religion addressing all this, but it is difficult without personal guidance.I hope meditating will atleast be a first step to sort myself out.
I think you have got more than you bargained for!! Forgive me if I have unnecesserily burdened you.
I will attempt my first meditation session today, will let you know how it goes
Thanks & Regards
Sowmya
Hi Sowmya,
I am really pleased that you have chosen to share of yourself with me, I am not bored in the least. I can relate well to your worrying of past choices, I used to " worry myself to death", now that is fatalistic. In fact when I went through my phase of being lost in this world it hit me in an almost totally devastating way. I came close to death many many times, I analyzed and I analyzed and I questioned and I questioned of all the decisions I had made that inevitably seemed responsible to getting to this point of almost no return. I hurt deep inside, so very much. This lasted for almost two years, pain and suffering, pain and suffering, such pain and suffering had been previously unimaginable to me. I had been an electronics college Professor and a professional musician, these I thought were right for me but they were indeed not, they were only right for what others thought I should be. I was wrapped in a world of living for what others thought of me and I never really even knew myself or what was important to me. I was extremely low self esteem and I needed the approval and adulation of others in order to feel anything good of myself. The price I paid for the constant approval of others became far to high in time and I "crashed", emotionally and ultimately physically. I developed severe anorexia nervosa coupled with an insatiable drive to end my earthly existence. In the midst of all this suffering and disillusionment with Life I somehow began to leave all of what was behind and open up to the Eternal Love that underlies all of existence. This Love is what saved me and gave me all the answers that I had been looking for, all of this climaxed on the eve of Aug. 25, 1988, when in a flash while gazing up at the sky in the deepest prayer imaginable the Universe itself opened up to me, ALL IS LOVE and LOVE IS ALL.
From that instant on I had been transformed and the Communication itself was in the oddest but most Mind appealing language, that of the Universal Symbolic/Numeric Language of Eternal Love and Truth: Thee Trinity Creation.
Now I hope I have not bored you!!!!
Anyway my New Life then began and my Web Site is a reflection of who I AM and my purpose in Being. There is more for me to do in this Life but all in Precision of proper time.
SO, you see I Am in TRUTH devoted to helping others, it is my Mission of Life Wisdom, and YES I Am here as long as you like for you. There are certain people that instantly I seem to connect with at a very deep level, Natasha was one such person and so are you. I wish not to overwhelm you here but merely reassure you that if you need me in whatever way you feel is best for you then I will do my utmost to accommodate you, in TRUTH and in PURITY of LOVE. This is why I Am.
So I can relate to what you are saying, and I can feel the stress you are presently going through, and such stress strips us even further of our Being, it disconnects us from the Eternal Love and we began to question and question, and we never seem to get the answers we are looking for, but remember this: THERE IS AN ANSWER FOR YOURSELF, YES a unique path in Life that is fulfillment in Being and as you begin to walk down this path YOU WILL KNOW IT, you will not need others to to build your self esteem, you will feel good about yourself in Being yourself and your career begins shaping according to you, not you according to what you think it should be, and in particular to what others believe you should be. Fortunately you have the greatest friend in the World, your Mom, perhaps the only better friend is yourself. Sometimes however because your Mom cared and Loves you so much she cannot see what is truly best for you, she can only see what she believes is best. Respect her completely but start to try to understand yourself within yourself, and YES for all that I have spoken of Meditation you can see it is an excellent place to begin, however it is a gradual process, be patient. This coupled with our time together should be supportive in strengthening you from within yourself, and slowly opening the doors to your Eternal Self---that of Love and Truth.
And please do not ever worry that you are imposing or being a burden to me, I AM HERE FOR YOU.
YES let me know how your Meditation goes, it is very important in the early stages to have everything clarified, and try to remember this:
When you are looking back you cannot see clearly where you are and where you are going.
Love Eternally,
EuGene
> Dear Eugene
> Thank you so much for your comforting mail. I feel Im not alone now, somebody understands my frustations &
> anguish. I was suprised with myself for telling you so much of myself, as I am usually a reserved person. but i
> somehow felt comfortable doing it- i guess the connection is really there. Thank you again for taking so much care. I do hope the way forward for me will be clearer from now on.
>
> I meditated yesterday, i started off thinking of doing it for 10mins but did it for 15 mins. because i kept fidgeting the first 5 mins. As expected my thoughts kept wandering ....i consciously bought it back to the Mantra. It is a bit of a struggle & I felt tired at times with the effort. My breath slowed down considerably towards the end- is that normal?
At the end of it, I felt calmer but sadder. I will be doing 20mins from now onwards. Is that OK? I also feel the need to visualize something when i close my eyes - i have been trying clouds (!)etc..but not very successful.
What do you suggest I do?
>
> Looking forward to your mail
> Warm regards
> Sowmya
Dear Sowmya,
It is certainly nice to hear from you. Yes I feel a strong connection to you, it began right from your first email to me. I think the fact that you stumbled on to my Website is significant indeed. Sometimes in our wandering a door opens for us that we may not have been aware of had we been looking specifically for something, this is because there is an inherent freedom in just wandering, we tend to be free of directions that have been indicated to us from others and the Eternal Love becomes more of a guide. I know this Eternal Love saved me and it has directed you to me. Truly incredible but of such TRUTH.
Please feel free to continue sharing of yourself with me, it is in this sharing that discovery of yourself to yourself begins. When we are reserved we are attempting to protect our self from others, this is because when we are of low self esteem we are very concerned of what someone else may think of us. It would truly be devastating if we began to share and that person ridiculed or thought less of us. Therefore we tend to keep to our self, it is a way of protecting our self but it also closes off to us a greater dimension of Life. I am glad that you feel comfortable with me, of my honor you have my word that I will always respect you, the Person you are, for I know you are truly a wonderful person indeed. I would like it when you are up to it to tell me more of yourself, of your frustrations, of your anguish and also that which brings you happiness. You will see that before too long you will begin, little by little, to know yourself better and you will come to appreciate the fullness of the person that you are. This is how we begin to live our full potential by first knowing our full Self.
I am very glad that you have begun your Meditation, and I can understand that it is a bit of a struggle, this is because up until now all you knew in your waking state was the World of thought, now you are attempting to move beyond thought into the realm of the Eternal: no thought just pure Love which is indeed Bliss. {Love, Eternal Life and Bliss are all States of Being within Thee Trinity Creation). The struggle that you were experiencing is the brain trying to hold on to the familiarity of thought, but amazingly as you begin to move beyond thought the Mind becomes soothed for this is the seat of MIND, the Eternal. At this point the struggle lessens and the brain actually likes the Eternal Peace and Love that lies deep within. You are Mind which animates all of Life, you come to know your Eternal Self through Meditation and your earthly self through Guidance. A beautiful combination, this is why I am.
Yes it is fine to now do your Meditation for 20 mins. daily and when you start to feel a little more comfortable in your Meditation I suggest you do it twice a day. You will generally feel much calmer after your Meditation, it is one of the Greatest relaxants, and all so very natural. The reason you felt a sadness is because the struggled itself wore you out a bit and deep down you were questioning whether you will be able to do this because of your low self esteem. The fear that you may not succeed at Meditation which you are hoping will ease your frustration caused you some sadness. Be confident, you will do fine, it is critical to ask me anything whatsoever relative to your Meditation, I can clear things up for you and this will increase your comfort and confidence. It is quite normal that your breathing slows down during Meditation, this is a bodily reaction to the relaxing effect Meditation has on you. It happened for you near the end of your Meditation because the struggle had lessened and you began to truly relax. It is alright to use Visualization during your Meditation as long as you are comfortably able to maintain your Mantra while Visualizing. For some people they cannot keep their Mantra going while Visualizing so I suggest to them to stop the Visualization. See how it works for you and if your Mantra is still able to easily flow while in Visualization then it is fine to maintain, and clouds are a very good choice. If however there is difficulty in your Mantra flowing while Visualizing it may best for the time being stop the Visualization and once you are more comfortable with your Mantra and your Meditation then you can re-introduce Visualization. I myself at times superimpose a type of Visualization over the Mantra, it is so spatial and comforting but for the most part I just repeat my Mantra and rather quickly (within couple of minutes) I move beyond thought to my Home, my Eternal Home.
I hope to hear from you soon,
My Love to you Dear Sowmya in Truth
EuGene
Good Morning Sowmya,
Well it is 5:30 am here anyway. I`m always up early and I was thinking of you. How are you doing? Is your Meditation going alright?
I hope all is well there and when you are able email me, I would really like to hear from you.
Sincerely,EuGene
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Dear Eugene,
Thanks for your mail. Sorry for the silence. I have some good news, I have finally landed a job!! I don't know whether it is the right one for me, but I took it as it sounded OK. I am hoping things will work
out here. Looks like you are bringing me good luck!! So thanks !!!
I am doing meditation regularly, but still is a bit of hard work. I hope I am able to maintain it inspite ofgoing to office, no-in fact I should, come what may. I often think of many things, which I would like to tell you-telling you some now- I think you quite right when you say im reserved to protect myself, my self-esteem(though I denied it on my first reading of your mail!!). My dad was in a transferable job, which meant we moved every 2-3 years till my undergraduation. I used to move to new schools each time. Though it is a good experience to see new places, that left me with no childhood friends and as I (think!)am quite a
sensitive person, I found it that much more difficult to open up as a result -esp after getting hurt couple
of times. Well, I think im improving now.
I read the page whose link you sent me which described your Awakening, pretty awesome to read. You are indeed blessed.
Take Care, Will continue writing
Ciao, Sowmya
Hi Sowmya,
I`m happy to hear the good news, and very happy to hear from you. YES you should try and maintain your Meditation, it will help with the related stress that may be present on your new job. Please keep me informed how your job is doing and tell how you are feeling about things and in particular if there is anything bothering you. I know you have come to me through a Spiritual Energy and I will for as long as you want of me be here for you. In terms of your Meditation I would suggest to not try putting in so much effort to get things right, just sit, relax and do your Meditation for 20 minutes. Do not think you need to achieve anything, Meditation is not about goals or attaining a certain place within yourself, it is about Freedom, freeing yourself from goal oriented action and freeing yourself from thought. Just remember to continually repeat your Mantra, if you find yourself in thought, which you will, then GENTLY bring yourself back to your Mantra. That`s all you need do, NO PRESSURE, just continually bring yourself back to your Mantra whenever you find yourself in thought. As time goes on this process flows more and more easily and you find yourself, generally speaking, less and less in thought. There may be certain Meditations where due to a particular "heavy" stress you just can`t seem to break yourself free from a train of thought relative to that particular stress. That is NORMAL, this happens at times; when it does simply continue doing your Meditation for 20 min's. Then next day (or the next time for your Meditation) just simply do your Meditation for 20 minutes once again. You will find perhaps that this time it flows much easier. There are many who abandon their Meditation practice because they may run into a few "difficulties" in learning it; this is truly unfortunate for they are missing a Beautiful opportunity that can be with them for Life and that will open them up to Grander Life, Greater Peace and Fulfillment of Being. I KNOW you can do it, just maintain your Meditation and the key is exactly what we are doing: COMMUNICATION together and I guiding you through your questioning. That is why it is virtually impossible to learn Meditation from a book, each Person ia a unique individual and each Person has unique questions and experiences, and each Person needs to be guided through any uncertainties. Stay with your Meditation, do it every day, at least once and preferably twice, and PLEASE write me with anything that may puzzle you or give you discomfort relating to your Meditation. You are SPECIAL to me and you deserve to learn Meditation properly and have with you for Life.
I`m glad you were able to reflect upon what I shared with you of yourself in the last email I sent you and opened yourself to KNOWING yourself a little bit better. You have Truly begun the process of coming to Know yourself, this is the greatest learning (along with Meditation) that anyone can ever have. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU SOWMYA, and you will do GREAT, and be GREAT in Life. Please email me whenever you can, share with me of yourself and you will come to KNOW Yourself even better.
LOVE in BLOSSOM,
EuGene
p.s. Your words " I often think of many things, which I would like to tell you" are beautiful to me, and YES please do share your thinking with me as best you can, I LOVE to hear from you and of you and this way I can better guide you to the Fullness of your Being, your FULL POTENTIAL of the Person you are. I`m glad I have been of GOOD LUCK to you; it is the Spiritual Energy flowing in your Direction.Hi Sowmya,
Could you please tell what " Ciao" means?
You write very well in English, your Grammar and choice of words is most excellent, what is your Profession?
ThanksEuGene
Dear Eugene,
Hi, am writing after a exhausting shopping trip, so its a short mail.... thanks a ton for your compliment, it means a lot.
Ciao means - An acknowledgment that can be used to say hello or goodbye (aloha is Hawaiian; ciao is Italian)
My english is so good thanks to my parents, & education(I am an MBA). And because my passion is
reading -almost anything, esp. fiction. I actually mostly think in English rather than in my mother tongue!!
My profession, well I am bascially into market research & related stuff. not exactly my passion, more of that later.
So thats it for now, will write more later
Take care
Bye, Sowmya
Dear Sowmya ,
I hope your shopping trip was quite enjoyable
and you got some really neat stuff. Take some rest, maybe even a Meditation
and when you are refreshed and time permits I look forward to hearing from you again and "more of that later". I am truly interested, I was a College Professor in electronics, it definitely was not my passion, but Life is: I want you to blossom in you life passion and do very well at your career, both can become united in time.
Love in truth,
EuGene
Dear Eugene,
Hi, How are your doing? I've missed you.I have been very busy,settling into the new job- so no mails from my side. Have missed writing & receiving your mails quite a lot. I have a long weekend coz today is a big festival - i am at home so here I am writing to you again.
First on my meditataion, I have missed only one day. I would not say it has become easier ! it takes me a lot of time to settle down. im finding it difficult to focus, not think of things during that initial period....but after abt 10mins, i calm down. at times feel light headed.so i end up extending the time to 25-30mins as it really is a great feeling then. one major problm i face is that my body tenses up when i try to move away frm the thoughts & to focus on the Mantra. pls tell me how to overcome it...am i doing something wrong? this is something i always faced whenever i tried meditation before. Also i would like to know the meaning of the Mantra.
Second, my career....it causes me most grief as it is the most important thing in my life! its a long boring story - very familiar to majority of people too! i think the main cause of prblm is even in childhood
ive never had any dream of becoming something specific - "a doctor, a lawyer" etc. i have just drifted into my current career, and have never been happy in the last 3 yrs of career. everybody tells me it is too early for me to make such complaints. but i know this not going to make me either happy or rich! i guess i have taken wrong turns at some places.....its too late to retract now, very frustrating anyway, i need to find some job which is going to make me happy. and i dont know how. i have spent lot my time thinking on it. the books ive read tell me i will be happy only in the career where i will be doing what im good at & what I enjoy doing.
And from what i know of myself, that has to be something to do my language skills(though I may be wrong!!).
That is why your compliment on my writing skills meant so much to me.
i hope to do something abt it in the coming year, keeping my current job as a stopgap one. I of course have given up hope of making it rich - unless I marry some rich guy!!
i know you have similar experiences, maybe you could tell me abt them. And I take much hope when you say my life passion & career will unite to make me happy, I hope that will happen to me!!
Thanks & bye
Sowmya
Dear Eugene,
Hi, How are your doing? I've missed you.I have been very busy,settling into the new job- so no mails from my side. Have missed writing & receiving your mails quite a lot. I have a long weekend coz today is a big festival - i am at home so here I am writing to you again.
First on my meditataion, I have missed only one day. I would not say it has become easier ! it takes me a lot of time to settle down. im finding it difficult to focus, not think of things during that initial period....but after abt 10mins, i calm down. at times feel light headed.so i end up extending the time to 25-30mins as it really is a great feeling then. one major problm i face is that my body tenses up when i try to move away frm the thoughts & to focus on the Mantra. pls tell me how to overcome it...am i doing something wrong? this is something i always faced whenever i tried meditation before. Also i would like to know the meaning of the Mantra.
Second, my career....it causes me most grief as it is the most important thing in my life! its a long boring story - very familiar to majority of people too! i think the main cause of prblm is even in childhood
ive never had any dream of becoming something specific - "a doctor, a lawyer" etc. i have just drifted into my current career, and have never been happy in the last 3 yrs of career. everybody tells me it is too early for me to make such complaints. but i know this not going to make me either happy or rich! i guess i have taken wrong turns at some places.....its too late to retract now, very frustrating anyway, i need to find some job which is going to make me happy. and i dont know how. i have spent lot my time thinking on it. the books ive read tell me i will be happy only in the career where i will be doing what im good at & what I enjoy doing.
And from what i know of myself, that has to be something to do my language skills(though I may be wrong!!).
That is why your compliment on my writing skills meant so much to me.
i hope to do something abt it in the coming year, keeping my current job as a stopgap one. I of course have given up hope of making it rich - unless I marry some rich guy!!
i know you have similar experiences, maybe you could tell me abt them. And I take much hope when you say my life passion & career will unite to make me happy, I hope that will happen to me!!
Thanks & bye
Sowmya
Hi Sowmya,
YES indeed it is sooooooooo nice to hear from you, I really did miss you as well and it took all I could to not send you another email, but I knew things would be rather busy for you with your new job. I have been very busy as well, it seems like I`m always working on my Web Site, it is rather overwhelming at times, I`m always trying to offer the World what is best and at no cost but quite often people do not realize just how much time and money I have put into my Web Site. It has been a little under two years since its inception and I have spent well over $10,000.00 and have gone for months at times working 12 and 14 hours per day, seven days a week on it. The results of course are quite impressive, when I first begun I knew absolutely nothing about Web Site creating and in particular about optimization. This is the trickiest part when it comes to a Web Site, you need your Site ideally optimized in order to show up at the top of Search Engines for various keywords related to your Site. Many times you are competing against millions of other Web Sites and unless you are in the top ten it is very unlikely that anyone will click on your result. My Web designer who had initially got me started did not have the time nor the expertise for handling the optimization so I took it upon myself and within two years I have become a top world ranked Spiritual / New Age Web Site. My Site shows up more often and in a higher position than any other Spiritual / New Age Site over a large variety of keywords. In some cases I show up number one competing against tens of millions of others. Well I hope I do not ever bore you but I do miss you and I seem to be rambling here a bit. I have decided to re-introduce CCNOW and charge for my Book / CD Rom. {see new offer below} for it is the only way I can keep my Site up and running. It will take me close to a week to get this set up and placed within my Site because my Site has grown so incredibly fast. This is The Power of Thee Trinity Creation, because it is of TRUTH and LOVE and I AM its human counterpart it grows like a beautiful flower blossoming in the Spring, like Love itself. My Love for you in TRUTH and PURITY has blossomed similarly.Early in 2003 my Web Site consisted of only two pages and had virtually no optimization: you could not find me in the Search Engines even though I was in them.
It all began with my very first Home page, my Web Site then consisted of merely two pages
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Now for the most important part of this email, YOU >>>>I am glad you have a long weekend and you were able to write but I want you to know that I do not ever want you to feel any pressure whatsoever to write me, only write when your heart calls to you and time is readily available. I am really proud of you having only missed one Meditation especially considering your new job. You really do impress me Sowmya and I really feel so connected to you, it is almost strange, however quite understandable for I know that Spiritually the Energy goes beyond what we may consider "normal" for its Power is tremendous indeed.
Now in reply to your Meditation concerns: First I want you to know that by simply remaining diligent to doing it every day you are doing what is most important. Stay with it, remember the reason most people to not Meditate is because of lack of proper learning and lack of resolve to do it every day. The World would become a better place simply by more people Meditating, and the need to use detrimental means of reducing stress would become virtually nil. You are doing really really well Sowmya, it is very normal in the earlier stages of learning Meditation that it takes up to ten minutes to "settle down". As time goes on this will become less and eventually within a minute or two you will be deep within your Meditation. However even when you are well experienced there are certain times due to internal and external conditions where it may be a little more difficult to "get into it". As long as you do it daily and eventually when you are able twice daily you will have a most wonderful gift that is with you for Life. It is alright if you go past the twenty minutes but do not go beyond thirty minutes, especially since you are just beginning. It is vital to keep your Meditation within a half hour so what you have been doing is just fine. I do not believe you are doing anything "wrong", remember to simply do your Meditation and you are doing what is most right. However do not "try so hard" to move away from your thoughts, this is what is causing you some tension, in attempting to force yourself away from thoughts they are trying to hold on tighter and the resulting struggle creates this body tension that you are experiencing. Meditation should be effortless, the only effort should be is to resolve yourself to actually doing it regularly. I want you to simply repeat your Mantra, sometimes it may seem slow, at times it may be in synchronism with your breathing and other times it may seem faster. This is important, whenever you realize you are in thought do not attempt to force yourself out of it, instead simply begin repeating your Mantra once again. You see you cannot be in focused thought and repeating your Mantra at the same time, that is why you have a Mantra. Eventually your Mind Loves going beyond thought so much that naturally once you begin your Mantra you drift into deeper aspects of Mind. Also remember that no two Meditations are exactly the same, one time you may experience a quicker movement into deeper Peace and other times it will take longer, and the actual experience of deep Peace may vary due to changing internal and external conditions. The only thing that should be constant is the regularity with which you do your Meditation, and of course the Oneness within all, that State of Bliss you will experience with time is very constant, it is the Eternal Love that is Perfection within itself, not ever changing for that which is Perfection is beyond change. You are doing that which is RIGHT when you are doing your Meditation, and YES please continue to share with me your experiences and any questions you may have. You are beginning to understand why I have said to you it is almost impossible to learn Meditation from a book for without proper guidance for the Person gets confused and rather quickly stops doing it. The other problem of course is the method itself, Meditation has become popular and anytime something becomes popular there are many who want to profit from it so you will find many methods that are not true Meditation. Many of the methods out there are merely relaxation techniques or contemplative approaches. True Meditation is beyond either relaxation or contemplation but yet inclusive of both. The Mantra I have chosen is ideal particularly for its sound effect, it is smooth, single vowel and creates a beautiful resonance effect. These all contribute to helping you move beyond thought. When choosing a Mantra it is also vital to not have it associated to anything concrete for then we may have associated feelings or thoughts related to that something. For an example if you chose Love for your Mantra although it seems like a beautiful Mantra you will no doubt have many associations and feelings relating to that word which would distract you and actually induce thinking. As I said I worked long and contemplated deeply to come up with an ideal Mantra that would be comfortable and effective for most everyone, that is why there is no meaning in particular associated with the Mantra itself, the meaning of the Mantra itslef however is vital, the Mantra is core to Transcendent Meditation of which Self Empowering Meditation is.
You are doing so well Sowmya, keep it up and the Universe shall open up to you. You are special to me, I rarely have such in depth email correspondence with people who come to my Site, I would not be able to considering the time it would take. You are indeed special.
Sometimes careers do become quite overwhelming, this is because there is so much attached to them: status, money, position in Life and of course pleasing others. When you think of your childhood I know there was something calling out to you but perhaps it did not have the label of a specific career. We are all composed of Energy and there is a dominant Energy relative to The Be within our self. {The Be is that part of Thee Trinity that is of doing: career, making money and so on, we are also composed of The Me: the emotional physical self and The I: the Eternal Spiritual Self. Unification is the coming together of all these aspects of Being in perfect balance, equilibrium and harmony...you can see this symbolically with the design for UNIFICATION}. {lower left Symbol is The Me, lower right Symbol is The Be and the upper Symbol is that of The I. The center Symbol is the Unifying Power of The Trinity.}
You have that Be Energy flowing within you, however due to external conditions you were Directed to what people thought would be best for you. I did indeed suffer similarly, everyone thought I had the ideal career being a college Professor in Electronics, and a well developed drummer playing every weekend. I thought I had a Great career as well, but I was only fooling myself. The stress I was under was so incredibly intense, although I did in itself like teaching and drumming I did not like Electronics in the least, it is so impersonal and in my drumming career I was playing bars every weekend for people that would be drinking, many of which would end up getting drunk. I was well Loved by my students and the hotel customers but I did not Love what I was doing nor did I truly love or know myself. Eventually I crashed, the most horrible suffering imaginable I endured for almost two years, but then The Miracle(88): my Spiritual transformation. Life for me since has not necessarily been easy, there were many challenges I had to meet, and still they present themselves to this day but I know I Am doing the right thing, I can feel it down to my very soul and this keeps me in Fullness of Being and in experience of FULFILLMENT(12) in LIFE(15). All that I AM(47) and will ever be is presented within the symbolic/numeric language of Thee Trinity Creation: this is who I AM.
I AM is the Eternal Self.
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I want you to think about your childhood for a bit, think about what you enjoyed most, what felt best to you, what you were always drawn to and you will begin to discover your Be Energy. That is the first thing to do in considering your career and what may come of it, you should first discover deep within yourself your dominant Be Energy, once you do you can then take steps towards its physical manifestation and you will experience greater FULFILLMENT(12) of your Be in LIFE(15). Perhaps some of your wrong turns were misdirections given to you by others whose intent was good but did not take into account you: the full you and what is best for you!!!
Remember it is never too late "to retract", however now may not be the right time, I think you may want to further discover yourself first. You must be clear within yourself what it is you want to do in Life and you must truly know yourself, independent to what others have had you believe of yourself. That is why your self esteem is low, you do not truly know yourself so you are very uncertain of this person you are, this person that is Sowmya you do not really Know. You thus depend on others in order to know yourself and you are very fearful of what others may say or think of you so you are very reserved and unsure. You thus tend to wait for the Direction of others to move forward because you desperately need their approval. If you were to do something of your own and they disapproved of it would crush you, and you would certainly question yourself. In order to be safe you stay reserved and follow the Direction of others. They may have good intent but no one can know you if you do not know yourself so they are doing what they think is best based on who they think you are and on what others have told them, including Society, as to what is best for you. This is where you are now in Life, but you need not be like this for the rest of your Life, Life is too beautiful for that. However you must be of MODERATION(62) in your approach to change, particularly until you truly know yourself, for you are very vulnerable to the pressure and influence of others. Be patient, all Life will blossom for you. Now perhaps indeed language skills is where you might be most Fulfilled, think back to as early an age as you can right through to present and see if there is a strong Energy guiding into the languages field. Perhaps there will be or you may discover another strong Energy.
Your Meditation will also help you to get in touch with yourself. Keep me informed as to how all is going for you, I must now leave you but I sincerely look forward to hearing from you again, whenever it is best for you.
Love is All,
EuGene
Hi Sowmya ,
I hope your weekend is really going well for youandyou are fully enjoying all of the Festivities.
I wish you lots and lots of fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eugene
Dear Eugene,
Thank you for your wishes and Yes, It was Diwali and I had fun bursting firecrackers, lighting lamps all over
the house. Now its back to office & the regular grind! I am continuing my meditation...I guess I am "trying too hard", I find that visualization is key for me to maintain focus, hence I am hoping to settle on a combination of both the visualization & chanting to keep me going. I am truly grateful your support. I always did feel after my numerous earlier attempts at meditation that I need some one to guide me as I am unable to proceed on my own. Im so glad to have found you. Thank God, I visited your site! You know, I wrote first to your old
ID, but it bounced back, so I bookmarked the site & went to it couple weeks later & found your new ID.....maybe it was "meant to be" !!!! Its quite amazing when I read about the energy & time required from you for the website - it truly is worth all of it 'coz it helps tons of people like me. I must have gone to dozens of sites in my search for help in meditation, most of the places I found guidelines which I guess are superficial after some
level and everyone is more looking to gaining profitable(?) disciples/followers.It is something very prevalent in India, there are scores of high profile spiritual gurus, who unless one is rich & mighty, scarcely pays attention, apart from general public apperances.There must surely be genuine ones, I am yet to come across them,thoughfew of my friends have. The money aspect of all this is always dicey...but what I see leaves mequite dis-illusioned.But then, money follows devotion!
I hope you are still with me !!...
Pls never think you would bore me...you are opening up new lines of thought for me.I would feel priveleged if you tell me anything on your mind also. You are absolutely right when you say I need to work more on myself before I take the plunge to change drastically, I am not sure of myself at all. But it is difficult for me to accept I am swayed by others.But then, maybe you are right, I always pay lot of attention to people who are close to me when I take decisions. This was something I realised on my own recently(and it is echoed by you)....And that I truly don't know myself. I could write down a huge list of things I dont like about myself, but minimal stuff on what I do!!Pathetic, when I come to think....it cant be all that bad.
I really need to sort myself out..!!
Well, I am going on abt myself again.I think I have decided you to be my psychiatrist!! Hope you dont mind, Do tell me frankly if you do.
Looking forward for your mails always,
Take care, Sowmya
Dear Sowmya,
I`m happy to hear you had fun celebrating, and so nice to hear from you!!!
I can understand "the grind" but try and remember it not for always, I know you can make very positive changes in your Life, Moderation and Wise Decision making will be your way. Keep in mind that this is a temporary situation and once you discover for certain that Be Energy of yours I will then help you to progress forward towards its unfolding. There is a path, we need to first know your strongest Be desire, particularly that which was with you from young, once this is clear I have a very good approach to you making this your new path in Life. It will be a gradual but very defined approach. Remember to stay with this job for now as best you can and we will begin to forge a new Direction in Life for you as soon as you know where it is you want to Be.
I assumed that was the problem, too much effort in your Meditation, but the solution although easy in words takes a bit of resolve to realize. If you like combining visualization with your Mantra, or I like the way you express it "chanting" that is fine, I assume you are repeating your Mantra silently to yourself. I think however it may be more valuable to you to just maintain your Mantra without the visualization, generally speaking superimposing Visualization over your Mantra is a more complex and advanced form of your Meditation practice. I will not say for you to not use visualization but I strongly believe that just repeating your Mantra will work better, it just takes a bit of time for you to get accustomed to it. This is probably one of the more difficult aspects of learning Meditation for all of our Life we were in thought while in the waking state, and now we are attempting to rise above thought so there is a natural initial resistance to this. But I assure you once you begin to adjust to using your Mantra you will like it more than thought. Your Mind will Love the Higher Consciousness connection that you are opening up to. I know that most everyone who learns Meditation properly is so very glad they did, and for the most part they maintain it for their entire lifetime: it is that good. Be patient my dear Sowmya, and remember to keep doing your Meditation regularly, this with proper guidance is the key to learning Meditation.
I really am warmed deep within knowing that I am able to have you open up to new lines of thought, and these new lines of thought will eventually transform into new lines of positive Action. Sometimes one of the most difficult aspects of truly knowing yourself is to fully accept yourself. It is alright if you realize you are swayed by others, it is in the awareness of Self that real change can occur. To see how others influence you is the starting point to becoming more in charge of yourself and of your Life, while simultaneously maintaining respect of those close to you. You do not want to estrange yourself in any way, you simply want to live more of the Self that you are. There is a proper way of going about this, many are not aware of the process so they do not change or they change too quickly and estrange themselves from those they love. For the most part people who try to influence you are genuine in wanting to do what they believe is best for you, this I am sure of your parents, and you said you have a very close relationship with you Mom: this is wonderful. She is no doubt wanting you to be happy and she is trying to achieve this in a way that she believes is best. What you need to do once you discover the dominant Be in you is gradually have your Mom understand this part of you better, and have her understand what is Truly best for you. When this happens rather than she wanting to influence you down a path that she thinks is best for you she will support you on a new path that is best for you based on you. This is why I say that True change MUST be approached in Moderation, all must be integrated unless of course there is someone wanting to influence you for their own selfish gain. These people you must gradually distance yourself from. Amazingly with Growth in Wisdom you can readily see where people operate from within themselves rather quickly, you can pick out their motives and their level of sincerely. It is really incredible how much we can know of others once we Truly know our self for once the barriers we have set up within our self are dissolved we can see more clearly. It is like the sun shinning through the clouds, our true self shines through and we are so much happier deep down inside.
I know you are a truly GREAT person Sowmya, I knew it right from the start of our coming together. It is this low self esteem that you suffer from that forces you to see yourself in a much dimmer light. The way to build one`s esteem is not by repeating phrases of positive incline to oneself, it is by knowing oneself. I remember when there was a big movement of repeating positive statements to yourself in order to like and feel better about yourself. It did not work and it does not work. It is like putting a band-aid on an infected wound. For a very short time it appears to be better but soon thereafter you discover that there is really no improvement whatsoever, in fact you may have even made the infection worse. The healing must come from within and you must nurture that which is within. That is how it is with personal/Spiritual Growth.
Thanks for your kind words, I really am connected to you.
Remember Sowmya that you need not worry about any "drastic Change", this is not how I approach things. WISDOM a little at a time yields a lot over time. We will have as much time together as you need, I have devoted myself to your well being.
LOVE in TRUTH is ETERNALEuGene
Dear Visitor: Due to the lenght of this most WONDERFUL(37) ongoing email correspondence with Sowmya I must continue it on a new page, click on the following link to continue:Life Decisions
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The count has begun Nov. 2005: many inquiring Minds, One Truth Revealed.