From: Marissa
To: Master Sage Joseph Eugene Morin
Sent: Friday, December 10, 2010 1:28 AM
Subject: The search for TRUTH (33)
Hello,
I'm not exactly sure how to address you or how to begin this, mostly because I don't really know what this is all about, or what I hope to find. Please try to decipher some intelligence from this rant. And excuse my lack of precision with my words. To begin I guess I have felt that I seem to exist on a separate wavelength my entire life. I don't belong and something is not right. It's not exactly a disturbing feeling, more a feeling of urgency. It seems like there is more, and I know there is a truth that it is diffidently not now ever present. I think that is what has brought us to you. My boyfriend and I seem to have formed some phenomenal feeling of purpose. For whatever reason we have had the same strange occurrences of knowing we are meant for something. I know that sounds extravagant and flashy but that's not exactly how I mean it. I feel I will reach some cosmic culmination of something... I don't know how to explain the sense. Well moving on when my boyfriend and I began dating he expressed to me this same knowingness of subconscious need to fulfill some destiny. 33 is a VERY impactual number in his life. He feels and has felt for a very long time that it is everywhere, in birthdates, clocks..... the usual. Well he passed it off as just a naturally occurring number that seemed to present itself more often. But now it has escalated. Not only is he seeing it everywhere, I am as well. Fitting that you say it means truth because we have been trying to relearn the world and change our entire outlook on life and the plans ahead. We do not want nor need the everyday things. And we KNOW this is not how the world was meant to be, or how humanity was meant to treat life and the source of which. The number 33 is on every tv show, when I ordered something online the order number emailed to me was 33033. We noticed on a history channel documentary that the only video footage of fort knox was of the vault 33! Its everywhere in our lives, 33rd parallel, we drove to Roswell New Mexico to get our puppy and later learned the significance of the 33rd parallel. I don't know honestly if we want to find some meaning behind it and that's why it seems so persistent. Maybe we just want to believe that we are something special, I don't know. We are different though we want a simple life we want a new world order. As we searched the number 33 we stumbled upon your website and once we began reading we had goosebumps. Please let me know what more you need from me to better understand what's going on and maybe you can find some insight.
Thank you very much,
Marissa
Dear Marissa,
I fully comprehend what you have spoken, and the feeling of not belonging is more a feeling of not being able to fit the potential of the Person you are within this everyday confusing and manipulative living. YOU DO BELONG, this is critical to shift your thinking, and since you do belong and want to weave a higher purpose within this everyday, TRUTH(33) in Number has been calling out to you, and to your boyfriend. If TRUTH(33) is indeed calling out to both of you, you MUST have TRUTH(33) in Fullness within your relationship, this is very important. First come to understand you belong, second discover what TRUTH(33) really means and third live TRUTH(33), then your sense of belonging will strengthen and you will begin to discover your Higher purpose in Being.
Fortunately I have been blessed with the finest Meaning of TRUTH(33) you will come upon this Precious Earth of ours. Once you can genuinely understand these words and all of their implications and begin to apply them within your everyday living Higher purpose will begin to make itself known. This is a gradual process, and if you need further clarification or assistance with any particular DECISION(21) you must make please call on me again. Remember however TRUTH(33) MUST BE LIVED, particularly within yourself, in your ACTION(81) and your boyfriend must he himself be of TRUTH(33) in your relationship. I do not know how long you have been together, the longer the better for in new relationships infatuation often becomes confused with real LOVE(14).
Here is the defining of TRUTH(33), simple in word but requires right effort in order to live:
"THE SANCTITY OF INTELLIGENT HUMAN LIFE SUPERSEDES ALL ELSE."
That is it, and in Number it would read; "92-78-15-85". I have these tattooed on my right inner forearm although I AM(47) not really into tattoos.
Contemplate upon what I have just shared with you Marissa, and everyday without even being aware of it you make literally thousands of Decisions, from the most minute almost subconscious ones to the LIFE(15) changing ones. Follow the above quote as best you can, and TRUTH(33) will begin to naturally become prioritized. Then you will feel for certain you KNOW you belong and you will inherently discover a Higher purpose to your everyday, then you can Creatively begin to implement it.
TRUTH(33) has been calling out to you, and now TRUTH(33) must become prioritized within your LIFE(15), and in your relationship.
Please contact me further if you wish,
LOVE(14) in TRUTH(33),
Master Sage Joseph M
Dearest Master Sage,
I will begin by apologizing that it has taken me this long to reach out to you. It is as you said we all see the TRUTH(33) but we chose to put other priorities ahead of the most important, most rewarding ones. I write to you knowing that you are the Second Advent. And I'm not sure how to express the way my boyfriend (Mike) and I feel. Let me tell you a bit about us. We are both 21, living in California, realizing that society will not work with our spirituality. I am a baptized Orthodox Christian that has fallen away from my spiritual father and church all due to earthly complications, however there is no excuse for my lack of prayer in the previous year and lack of devotion. I KNOW I can do better and want nothing but to due what is right and what is good. My boyfriend has not always had this same outlook. He has always looked at it as God was absent in his life. He felt sure that he would never be able to live a (Western Society) hypocritical church life. He knew that God would speak to him if he was there, ironic a bit that He has been making himself very clear to Mike. Mike is the type of cynic that needs facts and Truth(33) in order to believe in something, and that is why I believe He chose 33 to speak to Mike. It seems that for so long we have felt that this world wasn't the right fit for our outlook on life. We reject the false system. We now TRY our hardest to find what is true. We realize this world lost its way, and have put the least important things above all else. I know that you know all of this but I want to convey to you how seriously we are listening to your words of truth(33). We are natural skeptics, however upon entering this realm of true reality we felt it. We have felt it all along but have suppressed the concerns and we all just lay down and die. We waste our lives on material objects, and power struggles and we forget this is all for a reason. WE KNOW the new world order is coming. As of late we have been trying spiritual meditation, and of course I am still neglecting my prayer. But I say this out loud to make myself accountable. I KNOW I need to do better and WE know we need to do better. We have plans of engagement, and of course we hold of for money, its always about the money. So hopefully we can work on that AS SOON AS POSSIBLE Because I truly know we should not be living together out of wedlock, and we know we can do better. It seems that reflecting on your previous message that you couldn't have been more right. We are making TRUTH(33) our life and everyday it is pulling on us harder and harder to escape this. We do also feel that a decision will soon need to be made in our lives, and we will need your assistance. I feel it will all come in due time. I just know that we need to convey to you that we are involved. We want to help, we feel we have to. It brings us to tears to know what is to come for you, for us all. We know that none of this matters and only the life eternal is the only escape. That is why it makes us so sad. So many people have no idea! If we had the money today we would be on the next flight to Canada, but money does not permit that at this time. We both have given up on mainstream jobs, I was a legal secretary for a couple of years and realized it was all a lie. All anybody does is lie. So we are both unemployed scrounging to make ends meet. i'm not saying this isn't what we want. I would rather live a difficult life of meaning than an easy meaningless one. We also know that a book must be published, if the power grid failed today how many people would be lost because they can't turn on an electronics device and get an answer. I think we feel this need to see you because, as I'm sure you know, words are a tricky thing. We cannot express our feelings and instincts through this language we have developed. We would love to speak to you face to face and maybe even get help with our direction(5).
Awaiting your TRUTH(33),
Marissa
Dear Marissa,
Your email is very personally Fulfilling to me, and your words are those of WISDOM(77) with a hint of weakness in approach. Yes it is vital to make the right DECISION(21) at the right time, and therefore if ever you need me again for some particular LIFE(15) situation which has brought confusion upon you I will be here for you, and promptly as I AM(47) able to.
I`m finally conquering this wicked infection of the flu and therefore will be available as you need me. Your intent is definitely good however you must overcome the weakness that I hear within your voice. Do not ever fear TRUTH(33), however learn to really know what TRUTH(33) is and all of Its implications. This will free you from your weakness and STRENGTH(18) will be your new Self.
You are a Good Person Marissa, continue along your path of Goodness but continue to build upon your LIFE(15) WISDOM(77), this will enable you to apply Goodness as it needs to be and when it needs to be.
In TRUTH(33),
Master Sage Joseph M
Dearest Master Sage,
Hello, I hope you are doing well. I have not written you in a little while now because I have felt that the issues I have been dealing with are all so petty that there is no need to bother you with their worry. Or to ask for guidance on issues to which I know the answers to. I feel there are so many things we are faced with, and deap inside we know what is good and what is right. Why should we all just ask someone to answer challenging questions for us and tell us what we know. I fear it is because our laziness has escalated to a point where we expect other people to make the difficult choices for us, then simply tell us what to do. Where is the intelligence in that?
Anyway in regards to your first email response to me I fear all you have so delicately wrote has come TRUE. Last night my boyfriend revealed to me a lie that he has been harboring for over a year now. He did something unthinkable in my eyes and acted as a person of extreme low caliber. He has hidden this truth from me for all this time, even as I have thanked him regularly for being so devoted to our relationship this entire time. For I knew since I first took the risk on him, that he has never been a person of God, nor a person of Truth. His entire life he never thought he was capable of love, compassion, commitment, or even a future. He saw his life as nothing, and about a year and a half ago he expressed to me that he knew I wanted a husband, and children and a life of God. And he told me, "What if I'm never capable of giving you those things, as of now I don't see myself ever loving one person for the rest of my life." As crushing as this was, I knew then that just the fact that he could recognize that he was lacking meant he was capable of more. I don't know why but I gave him a chance and I told him we would see where it went because we were both extremely happy with each other, he was just concerned for hurting me in the future.
Well flash-forward to now, he has become a person I am proud to stand beside, and proud to wish to be my husband. He has been expressing concern to me lately that he fears God will never forgive the things he has done. And I assure him that the first step to even being able to ask upon the Father to forgive is HUMILITY. Well last night he revealed to me this dark secret and got down before me crying asking not for forgiveness, but that I would not forsake my now stepdaughter who is three years old. He told me we may go our separate ways but that she needed me because he was impure and unworthy. He said I would never forgive him and that I shouldn't forgive what he had done. He said he was unworthy of me. I saw the humility in his eyes and I know that things are SO incredibly different now then when he made this mistake. I cry as I write this to you. I was so hurt when he told me, I walked out the door in the middle of the night and sat in the desert for a while. I wept and cried out to God and I was angry and wanted to die rather than feel the pain of my true love inflicting this pain upon me. I pled with God to keep my mind from going wild with imagination. And suddenly it all got quiet and I felt this strange peace. I knew then that I could never give up on him. I know that I am meant to be with him, even though he hurt me. When I returned to the house he told me that he knew I would never love him the same and that what he did couldn't be undone. He cried out that he will burn for this and that he is unworthy of me. He wanted to die. He pled with me that I let him kill himself and let me move on. But I know I could never do that. My love for him is too great. Right at that instant I knew the value of all these things. Yes he had done something that he knew would hurt me, and he tried to keep it from me. But the thought of him dying killed me more than anything he could ever do to me. I know he is struggling to find his better person and that he will make mistakes. I forgave him, I held him while he wept and pushed me away saying he had forsaken mine and God's name and couldn't be forgiven. He said God would never forgive him. And all I could say was I forgive you over and over again. I feel strangely at peace right now. I feel I can not only teach him of true committed love, but of forgiveness. For if I, a mere unworthy sinner could forgive him, I know God can as well. I know now that when he says to me he loves me he truly does. And I know that he has been carrying this weight around, and our relationship could never be of value until we both valued it. And until it was of truth. I told him that I needed to know this, how could I ever marry someone I didn't truly know and who was untrue with me.
I need further guidance. I need to show him the way. How should he begin his repentance for a life of lust and anger. I know all he wants is to change, he already has. He just doesn't believe he can be forgiven.
PLEASE HELP
Love always,
Marissa
Dearest Marissa,
I wish I could Fulfill all you want ME(23) to say to you that you would LOVE(14) to hear and would be in perfect alignment with your 'new alignment' in LIFE(15) and relative to your boyfriend, unfortunately he as a Person that remains the same, and the game continues, but at a much heightened level of entrapment and further disillusionment as to who he really is!
His pain was in response to you picking up something not quite right about him, it was not genuine nor lasting. Now he feels he really has you where he wants you, a game of his type of play. You may not ever want to speak with me again but you must remember I can sniff out TRUTH(33) or when it is a mere fabrication, I CAN TELL YOU NOW ABSOLUTELY MARISSA, what he told you is just a piece of all that he has not, and he will continue forth once he believes you are completely forgiven him and have even become more respectful and in LOVE(14) with him. If it took a whole year for him to share what he did, there is a massive accumulation of other un-truths, not only of his past but most importantly of his present.
I realize you have become extremely bound to him, which is what he wants, and this simply further imprisons you into a terrible relationship.
You may at least do this for me Marissa and definitely for yourself for I realize your entrapment is deep indeed. Please remain on guard, look for any incongruencies and most of all go BACK to what he shared with you and ask him further questions of it. I tell you now in all likelihood he will get angered at you and blame you for this questioning of him now that he has shared some of his wrongdoings with you. Please remember your words: "Last night my boyfriend revealed to me a lie that he has been harboring for over a year now. He did something unthinkable in my eyes and acted as a person of extreme low caliber." If he did it then he will do it again! And then it will become even more unthinkable to you but he will have further entrapped you.
The best thing you could do is garner enough STRENGTH(18) to tell him this relationship has come to a close, you want him to leave and never ever contact you again. However I realize this would too much for you to handle emotionally so please remember your words which I have repeated here once again: "Last night my boyfriend revealed to me a lie that he has been harboring for over a year now. He did something unthinkable in my eyes and acted as a person of extreme low caliber." and repeat them to yourself a hundred times daily. These words MUST become you vision of who he really for this IS WHO HE REALLY IS!
I have given you much to consider in these few paragraphs, please take heed for I KNOW WHAT I AM(47) TALKING ABOUT> TRUTH(33) he is not and TRUTH(33) he will not ever be!
Sincerely Yours,
Master Sage Joseph Eugene Morin
Dear Master Sage,
I'm not sure what to say. I know you don't believe that he is a different person but I see the changes everyday. He is loving and God fearing and has opened up to me. I couldn't turn my back on someone asking for forgiveness. He has shown me the kind of love I thought him never capable of. What if he does want to be forgiven. If he has told me everything can we move forward? I am not the type to get easily swept away, I have never loved a living being more than I love him. If he truly is not of truth then yes I wouldn't want to continue a game. But if he has changed then what? He didn't want to tell me for the pain he knew it would bring both of us. When he did it we were not at the level we are now. We had just started dating and he tells me not to justify that because he knew he loved me, yet he still did it. But I know the kind of person he was would never commit to me. But can we start anew with this new knowledge? We have become a most beautiful family and there is so much love within our home.
I apologize for questioning what you know. I know you speak the truth. For this I would never stop contacting you. I just can't blindly follow that advice if you don't know all of the information. This is an extremely monumental decision.
Love,
Marissa
Dearest Marissa,
My Heart is with you in this difficult DECISION(21) making time, but this is the key in your many words to me of your feeling of him: "We had just started dating and he tells me not to justify that because he knew he loved me, yet he still did it." LOVE(14) when TRUTH(33) is lacking is ALWAYS not wanting questioning nor justification, it is simply manipulative LOVE(14), unfortunately this will quickly shift into despair and depression for you, the so called loved one. You were very vulnerable, he knew it and still knows it, so the game goes on.
Please at least remain on guard, that is the most I can ask of you presently, but in another day you will return to me with despair, but I realize your TRUTH(33) and your LOVE(14) so therefore I cannot speak anymore on this, BUT PLEASE DO NOT TAKE EVERYTHING HE SAYS as face value, look for underlining manipulations which I KNOW are abounding.
But I will let you discover these things I say for yourself Marissa, it is the only way you will experience and realize the TRUTH(33) in what I speak.
Remain always on guard please Marissa, for you are very vulnerable and HE KNOWS this.
THE GAME GOES ON!
Sincerely Yours,
Master Sage Joseph Eugene Morin
Dear Master Sage,
You think he will never change? A person not of truth that is shown by God and given the message of truth? I do not feel trapt due to the time we've spent together....its that I've never been able to connect to a person in the way I do him. He is the first person who has ever seen the real me. And I do feel that we have some destiny. I feel like he isn't trying to manipulate me as of now. He is begging me to leave him because its what's best for me. But I'm not as sure. You afirm his fears of never being able to find his better person and never being of truth. But is this the first step. He is making an effort to be of truth. Ye is not keeping me, he is asking that I do what's best for me.
I know for certain the only reason he has become the person and father that he is today is due to me. I am helping him better himself.
In every relationship he has been in he has cheated on them. And been void of emotion. For the first time he feels the pain of what he did.
He could have so easily never told me and let us build a marriage based on lies. But he knew he had to tell me this. Doesn't that show remorse or am I just blind?
You are right. The pain keeps coming, he has done more.
PLEASE HELP
Love always,
Marissa
Dearest Marissa,
I do know what I speak of but at times I would simply just LOVE(14) to say what I know what people want to hear, but if I did this I would like the other thousand out there all doing the same because they are NOT who I AM(47).
It Truly does sadden me when I need to speak such words of TRUTH(33), but all I can do now is share my Heart with you and LIFE(15) WISDOM(77), then you must take it from there. I KNEW there was more and still more, but unfortunately you are now entrapped, so what is there to be done?
It now rests within your hands Dearest Marissa, I have spoken all that needs be said, however if you should choose to Free yourself then once again in TRUTH(33) I can give you all the real steps required for your ongoing FREEDOM(7) of Self.
Please remain safe, stay on guard and if you can put together all the STRENGTH(18) required to make your jail break and go FORTH AND DO IT! Otherwise your LIFE(15) will be one of continual disappointments, despair, depression and reduction of the WONDERFUL(37) Person you are.
Remember the 3 r`s of a bad relationship: reduce, refuse, reject. Little by little this will your LIFE(15) prescription if you remain.
My Heart is Truly with you, tears come to my eyes for I KNOW so very well his game, and you are such an innocent and good Person simply wanting a relationship in TRUTH(33).
I AM(47) here for you but now you must be there for yourself Marissa.
With tremendous Respect and LOVE(14),
Master Sage Joseph Eugene Morin
Dearest Master Sage,
I am so sorry for pestering you, please let me know if I need to reflect further on my thoughts before bringing them to you. Mike and I have talked today about all of this and come to the conclusion that this relationship must come to an end. We have based it all off of the wrong things and have never known truly what was important. We have not cherished one another or what we had. I fear that your respect for me is more than undeserving. I am scum and yet you raise me up. Please, PLEASE! Do not do this for I myself have been untrue to myself for quit sometime now. I have turned my back on God and all that I know to be Love(14). Before Mike I had made a commitment to God that I would NEVER be intimate with a man unless I was married. And I felt it so strongly. I knew it was right and I knew it was of the truth(33) yet when tempted I failed. And to this day I have not been to confession for this and I know that my actions have led to my entrapment as well. I have lied to myself and I have accepted so much less than I know I should live. How could I have ever been with the right person if I wasn't expecting them to even try to be the right person? I have contacted a monastery I used to visit with my church youth group that used to feel like a sanctuary. I know the women there are of truth(33) and can provide an environment I need right now. I need to go be near God. And I need to fall down and weep for what I have closed my eyes to. I know that Mike has not been of truth(33) and I always knew it. I chose to ignore all of it. If he were of truth and did love me he would have feared for my salvation and would have not courted me unless he could except what I needed from him. We will no longer be intimate, we will no longer lust for one another nor kiss. I am going to go stay at the monastery as soon as they respond to my email asking if I can come visit and Mike will stay here and try to really speak to God. We prayed together tonight for the first time. He has never prayed before. I am leaving with him my prayer books and all he needs to make the conscious effort. As of our situation right now we are going to spend time apart, we both have no where else to live so we will share this house as friends and take turns sleeping on the couch.
As for the trap... I am trapped. I am so weak and my love(14) for him is so powerful that I would rather suffer and be only friends then have to say goodbye to my best friend. Even if we are never to become what I have wanted so badly. I do feel the trapped feeling of needing to hide my expectations has been broken. I have been so scared to tell him that we could not be intimate because I knew he couldn't except that. So I went along with the game. All along feeling like I could never share that part of my life with him. But for the first time he is understanding the gravity of the situation and the level of our destructive actions. I can say with extreme certainty and strength(18) that I WILL NEVER BE WITH ANOTHER MAN. If that means I can't be with him in the future I would rather live a life of celibacy. And that makes me feel so selfish because I know how pleasing it would be for God if I were able to take that path. But I feel that would be a weaker choice. I KNOW that I must help better Helena's (Mike's daughter) life and continue to show her the love(14) I can never neglect for her. I have promised her too many times that I will be here for her forever, I must. I have been in her life since before she was 1. I know that we are unworthy of the comfort being together gives us. We have defiled this relationship and for that I don't know if either of us can ever be forgiven.
Mike knows that he must change who he is and must except a different way. I have been sharing all of the emails with him. He fears the truth(33) but knows it is what you must give us. We must be apart to find ourselves. And to grow. We are committed to this decision and want to try to give a little bit of stability to Helena for now. It would not be fair to her for me to disappear from her life. Even if God must punish Mike and I for our untruths I cannot let her suffer for what we have done. There is no growth without struggle. I can't eradicate him from my life for I have never loved another as him. I will never be able to erase that. But I now leave behind the relationship of lust and lies we have created.
Your most unworthy servant,
Marissa
Dearest Marissa,
You speak in such TRUTH(33) which gives ME(23) GREAT(8) comfort. I respect you very very much Marissa and understand the cycle of LOVE(14)/mistrust you are in. You have opened your Heart up to this Person I AM(47). My Heart and Prayers are with you.
If you are unable to really separate yourself from Mike then you must do what you can to try and make a bad relationship better, but I fear all that it is will remain the same in time. However since you can now see the TRUTH(33) and acknowledge it and have made your choices then I AM(47) here for you. However there is still uncertainty within yourself, for you begin by saying "Mike and I have talked today about all of this and come to the conclusion that this relationship must come to an end." and later you say: "I can't eradicate him from my life for I have never loved another as him." This tells ME(23) immediately that you are in confusion and living together is living together, everything is different but in reality remains the same, so you must now learn to deal with a relationship that is untrue and will remain untrue always. This phase of apparent Spiritual cleansing will only work for you, he is playing the game still and always will, he has you where he wants you and will get what he wants out of you. He is merely playing along, whereas you are True in your attempt to become closer to God, he is not.
I have been here for you in your discoveries and Personal GROWTH(65) but yet never give you the words I know you would like hear most, that he and the relationship will change for the better, but I cannot speak that which is not True, all remains the same but a different day, and the cycle within the entrapment of a LOVE(14) relationship that is only of Goodness from one of the people involved, namely yourself Marissa, continues.
I have tremendous respect for you and I will reiterate that the best for your long term PEACE(29) and SERENITY(56) is to be really free of Mike, 100%, but you have apparently come to the full realization you cannot for your LOVE(14) is very strong of him and he is such a good game player.
My heart and PRAYER(9) will be with you Marissa, and I will certainly Pray for your STRENGTH(18) to really 'end the relationship", that is your only Salvation.
Sincerely Yours in TRUTH(33),
Master Sage Joseph Eugene Morin
From: Marissa
To: Master Sage Joseph Eugene Morin
Sent: Wednesday, January 26, 2011 3:15 AM
Subject: The search for TRUTH (33)
Dearest Master Sage,
Does staying and having hope mean I forsake the Lord? Do I condemn us both through my weakness?
Marissa
Dear Marissa,
By no means, staying simply means you condemn yourself to a LIFE(15) of misery, he is already condemned for he is the manipulator, and you are the one he is manipulating.
You are of TRUTH(33) Marissa, even though you have erred.
Master Sage Joseph Eugene Morin
Dear Master Sage,
I feel like it's coming. I feel like I need to get away from the cities soon. Do you have any advice as to if I should be fearful?
Love,
Marissa
Dear Marissa,
I think you best get away from the city if this means getting away from Mike, and you will experience some fear for certain, but try and have yourself set-up to where you are going prior to heading there. You are taking the right course of ACTION(81) if you are indeed ending the relationship.
I will not post any further of our email Communications, this way we can become even closer and far more personal. I want to assist you at becoming completely free from this nightmare of a relationship and have your TRUTH(33) lead you unto better times.
I care for you very much and I KNOW you are a Person of TRUTH(33). I have come to respect and even LOVE(14) you Marissa in TRUTH(33).
Master Sage Joseph Eugene Morin
_________________________
