Master Sage Joseph M
" Now I feel like crying." Ashley
Subject: A question of concern
Hi EuGene,
Finding a job is so essential for me now from every point of view, but I am freezing each time I am trying to make one more step towards this direction. It is like I am hoping that the job I want will land on me by itself, but I don't really believe that could happen. I am so terrified to go to interviews, to answer questions and I am so terrified to be under pressure on the job. I don't really know why I have so much strength to help others but I don't have enough for myself, or why I am not able to be enthusiastic just for myself, not for others. I don't know why I am not important for myself but others are important for me.
All I want is having a real love in my life, but not having this makes me so angry. Now I feel like crying.
Thank you for listening,
Ashley
Dear Ashley,
I`m glad that you have come to me, the reason that you are so nervous about an interview and answering questions is the same reason why you have such strength in helping others but you are not there for yourself. You see Ashley there is not an easy solution to your concern but if at least you know what is causing these symptoms then it can better help you understand the situation and in time may lead to an improvement. So I will share here with you the cause and hopefully it will serve you well. It all stems from very low Self esteem, in other words you have very little confidence in yourself and you are always wondering what others are thinking of you and what will happen if you do not measure up to their standard. Low Self esteem can really cause chaotic conditions in one`s Life especially when it is very low, this is what you are probably suffering from Ashley. I myself had long ago suffered the same condition, but fortunately I have risen above it like everything else due to the Spiritual Energy Communication of 1988. That was my REBIRTH(25) in one Grand Slam although it took some time, years for it all to become expressed within my Conscious Self and in my Life, and I Am still in growth.
You feel more at ease in helping others because it is a very low pressure situation especially if you are not being paid a salary for doing this helping. As well you gain a bit of Self worth when others thank you and are moved by your helping. This then becomes reflected on to yourself and you feel good. It is like a little shot of Self esteem but it does not last long for this World is not so kind, and most are very judgmental hence once out of that particular situation you fall back to your low esteem. You want to continue helping others because that is how you feel good about yourself, however Life demands more of you hence the stress of job searching must take place. The helping of others is good in the short term but it will do very little for your long term building of Self esteem, in fact all it takes is a couple of bad experiences in helping others whereby they are very displeased with you and you will begin to feel tremendous unease even in the helping World. You need to build your Self esteem, unfortunately there is no easy way to that. In the past there was a big wave of Self Help esteem building books but they have faded into the night for they did not work, it is laughable when I see children`s books that attempt to promote esteem building, that is a real joke. The esteem of the child is first and foremost determined by the way his Parents treat him in harmony with the genetic Person that he is. No book in the World will do a bit of good for the child if the Parents are disrespectful of the child himself. And there is no book or books that can do anything much for your esteem Ashley, nor any courses, or videos, or Web Sites and so on. The most they can do is have you believe in the short term they are working for you, this is how they sell. However when you step into the World of reality, into the World that is your environment instantly all of the quick esteem building is lost.
When you say "All I want is having a real love in my life, but not having this makes me so angry" you are saying that in a relationship you are looking for
someone that makes you feel good, you are looking for that Person that pampers your low Self esteem and once he does you are his. However he may be boosting your esteem in the initial phases of the relationship to get something he wants out of you, if he is not completely devoted to you then as time goes on he will lose the respect he treats you with and there goes the esteem building. As well if he has any strong conflicting emotional ties to another relative to yourself he will began to blame you for this and there goes your esteem once again. You need to look for someone that over time remains strong in his Love and Devotion to you independent of what he can get out of you, and hopefully there are no major conflicts between you and others close to him. Look to a slow building relationship, that will give you time to see if he is really True to you.
Now you are aware that you suffer from a very low esteem, and this is good for you to know Ashley, perhaps it can be the beginning to the slow process of Truly building your esteem but there are other vital factors that must come into play, and remember any real building of Self takes a very long time. Foremost in the Building of yourself is the respect of those who are closest to you emotionally, but often they contribute to your low esteem and in the case of Parents they may have been the contributing factors to your present condition. The Person you are in a relationship with will also be a tremendous force in the state of your esteem, find someone of TRUTH(33) that will help you build your Self esteem consistently. As well Self Empowering Meditation™, a Meditation of Transcendence which I have Personally developed, might help you build your esteem for it is certainly Empowering of the Self.
I realize I have not given you any clear process of correcting your low Esteem, that is because I would not be of TRUTH(33) myself if I were to present you with a simple and quick solution, but of TRUTH(33) I speak and I know this discourse in itself can be of worth to you Ashley.
Sincerely Yours,
EuGene
Dear EuGene
Thank you so much for your reply, and it definitely has been of worth to me. You have helped clarity many aspects within my life for me and I may try your Meditation. Thanks and have a blessed day.
Ashley
Thee Trinity Creation name and logo are registered to Eugene Morin {Master Sage Joseph Eugene Morin}. (1995/2005).